Physical and Verbal Abuse in a Marriage

How can one end one’s suffering from physical and verbal abuse in a marriage?

It is unfortunate to know that not all marriages will prosper until the end. It is not a secret that in some marriages, one or the other party is left to suffer from physical and mental abuse.  In the Philippines, a lot of domestic abuse is recorded every day. Domestic abuse isn’t just violence alone. An individual might think that they aren’t being abused if there is no violence involved. However, domestic abuse also includes the attempt of one party to impose intimidation and control over the other. An abuser will use any means such as fear, guilt, shame, and threat for their own gain to take control. 

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone because it does not discriminate. Both men and women suffer from abuse, and for some, they are left to suffer privately as they are too afraid to speak up and ask for help. For some, they are even in denial that they are suffering from it. So it is very important to always check on your loved ones and friends. But the point here is that an abusive behaviour is nowhere near acceptable, therefore it must be stopped, and anyone who suffers from it must stand up for themselves. 

In order to get out of an abusive relationship, one must first acknowledge that they are suffering from it. It is not necessary for an abused person to fight back alone, they can ask for help. We must also realize when a marriage is no longer possible to save. Do not lose yourself in a marriage that is already doomed.

At this point, the top priority should be the well-being of everyone, especially if there are children born out of the abusive marriage. It will take time to heal, but you must. Often, even when people have removed themselves from their abuser, sometimes they still feel like they are trapped. This is because they are still bonded by their abuser through marriage.

When you are ready, you can look for options to terminate the marriage. Perhaps file for divorce or an annulment, or legal separation. It is important to remember that you must do everything for the sake of your peace of mind and recovery so no step is really going overboard. If it is necessary, someone who suffered from abuse can also get counselling from a professional. 

There are many signs of an abusive relationship such feeling uncomfortable towards your partner, if you try to always watch what you say in order to avoid a blow up, or if you feeling like your walking on thin ice in your home. Always try to check yourself. It is important to remember that if you have been abused, it is never your fault. A lot of people are willing to help you. No one under any circumstances deserves to be abused. 

If you think you are suffering from abuse, or you know someone who might be — Ask for help and assistance from friends and family. You can also contact the hotlines of the country where you are a resident of. 

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